Discuss Sex And Responsibility With Your Teen

In 2001 then-Surgeon General, David Satcher, released the Surgeon General’s Call to Action to Promote Sexual Health and Responsible Sexual Behavior. One of the tenets of this document is to encourage parents to increase the depth of dialogue between adult and child. Although starting age-appropriate discussions about sexuality ideally begin early in childhood, this article focuses more specifically on the importance of holding frequent, open discussions with your teenager about their sexual health and responsibility.

Although talking to your teen about sex can be awkward, don’t wait for them to initiate the conversation or come to you with questions. Be prepared to be rebuffed, but don’t take it personally and remind them they can come to you with any questions or concerns. Try to accept that your idea of when the appropriate time for your teen to become sexually active may be different from theirs.

While you can encourage abstinence and reinforce the benefits of delaying sexual activity, try to see it from their point of view. Biologically, teens are influenced by increasing levels of reproductive hormones coupled with an innate sense of curiosity about sex, then are bombarded with frequent sexual talk and behavior through television, movies, print media and the internet. An important part of teen health is building their self-esteem and encouraging autonomy to the point where they’re secure in their own decision-making skills and are less likely to be swayed by peer pressure to engage in sexual activity before they’re adequately prepared.

Components of sexual health for teens include delaying sexual activity until they are in a committed, mutually monogamous relationship and feel ready to handle the emotional and physical consequences of being sexually active, avoiding STDs/STIs, avoiding unintended pregnancies, and development of the communication and refusal skills necessary to protect themselves from sexual coercion and potential sexual violence. Parents have the opportunity to be positive role-models, reinforcing self-care skills such as making and keeping health care appointments, healthy communication techniques within relationships, and being active in the community in ways that are consistent with their values and beliefs. Sexual responsibility overlaps areas of sexual health, but also entails protecting one’s partner from STDs/STIs and unintended pregnancy and realizing the effects these negative consequences have on the community as a whole.

Modeling abstinence from alcohol, or modeling appropriate use of alcohol in moderation, can help teens avoid current or future substance-abuse problems. Drug and alcohol use has been shown to contribute to risk-taking behaviors, such as having unprotected sex or inadvertently placing themselves in a physically unsafe environment.

Many teenagers seem hardwired to engage in risky behavior both sexually and in other areas of their lives. Although teens naturally have the desire to assert their independence and express themselves in ways in which parents are uncomfortable, they may not have the maturity level to realistically gauge the consequences of their actions. Risky behavior is increased by lack of knowledge of potential negative consequences, as well as a tendency to under-estimate the likelihood that negative consequences will occur specifically to them. If a parent already has good rapport with a teen and is armed with medically accurate, factual information on the risks of sexual activity, the teenager is more likely to be trust their advice.

Wisconsin Public Schools are currently required by the state to provide sexual education curriculum that emphasizes abstinence but also includes discussion on condoms and other methods of birth control. It benefits the community as a whole, as well as individuals, for teens to be provided with comprehensive, age-appropriate, evidence-based information at different points in their school careers, rather than relying solely on the parents’ knowledge and ability to pass on usable, practical information to their teens. Parents can then build on that information and reinforce their own specific values and expectations at home.

For teens, obstacles to being sexually responsible can include lack of access to information and birth control supplies. However, the biggest obstacle may be lack of motivation to put the information and supplies into practice. By encouraging teens to stay in school, encouraging participation in sports or extracurricular activities in the community, and helping teens develop and work toward long-term goals, parents can be very influential in helping teens avoid a devastating unplanned pregnancy or an STD/STI with long-reaching consequences to their health and future fertility.

The Health Care Clinic in Ashland has been in existence for more than 25 years, providing low-cost and free birth control, education, referrals, STD/STI testing and treatment, and exams. The clinic is located at 313 3rd St W. We’re open Monday through Thursday from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and by appointment on Fridays. Although the clinic serves men and women of all ages, the vast majority of clients are young women.

I encourage parents to visit the clinic either with or without their teenager to get information on enrolling in the Family Planning Only Services or BadgerCare, to pick up educational material, or to talk to the staff about any concerns you have regarding sexual health. We are happy to talk to parents about specific methods of birth control, how to discuss STD/STI signs and symptoms and available treatments, as well as communicating to your teen reasonable arguments for abstinence.
Ultimately, the goal is to keep our kids healthy and on track to meet their academic and life goals. By keeping the channels of communication open with a real willingness to listen non-judgmentally and to discuss sexuality in a mature, well-informed manner, parents and teens can work together to reach that goal.

This piece was submitted by Karen Grunow, RN, of the Health Care Clinic-Ashland.